For the love of chickadee...

We're getting settled back in from our babymoon getaway in California. I grew up a lot in my birth warrior training/initiation. Then, I grew up even more at the Dollar Rent-a-Car counter at LAX. More on that in a moment.

But first, here are some photos from my birth warrior weekend outside of LA:





In between plunging into the depths of my mama soul and discovering more about Birthing From Within, I lounged in the pool and the hot tub, danced and sang and basked in the delicious energy of some beautiful women. It was amazing. And so worth the s-t-r-u-g-g-l-e of getting there.

Then, Lucy met me at LAX where our plan was to rent a car and then drive up to Santa Barbara and stay at El Capitan Canyon.

WARNING: You might need to take a BIG, DEEP Breath RIGHT NOW and then as needed as you read this. It's very sad and angering and might cause your blood pressure to rise, fists to hit the wall, or some other outrage.

Just continue breathing - as we did in the moment and as we continue to do every day.

Here's how I grew up at the Dollar Rent-a-Car counter. Everyone knows you need a credit card and drivers license to rent a car. But we had one little glitch. My drivers license had expired on my birthday, May 26th, seven days prior to the day that the following incident took place. I did actually try to renew my license before I left. I had gone online to renew my license and at the "checkout" page, it sat there with all of my credit card info for quite a while without advancing to the "you're finished" page. An hour went by and it was still stuck. So I called TDOT and The Lady actually said, "Well, yeah we've had trouble with that. You'll just need to leave that page open for 24 hours". Of course I wasn't going to do that. So I quit the renewal process and went on about my business of packing, etc. [foreshadowing]

Back to the counter at Dollar Rent-A-Car in Los Angeles. There we are, full of hope and excitement even though we left LAX without Lucy's bag because it somehow didn't make the direct flight from Austin. We're still full of hope though and just ready to get in The Car and make that fabulous drive up the Pacific coast.

I hand The Guy behind the counter my license and credit card and after punching in a few things on his keyboard he says, "Your license is expired. We can't use it." I said, with slight indignation, "Well it was just a week ago, can't you make an exception?" NO. He asked if I had paper work showing the renewal was in process and I said no, I renewed it online so any paperwork that would come would have come while I was already here in California. [flashback] To that frustrating place in time with the damn TDOT web page. I'm beginning to feel defeated and a little angry.

Lucy says, "well my license is good, let's just use that". Great idea! We'll use her license and my credit card to pay for it since she didn't have her credit card. NO. The term The Guy used was, "We don't allow Cross Rental". We show him that we live at the same address, that we're life partners, that it's just the same as if...as if we were married. "I'm very sorry, but we don't allow that." I ask to see a manager and begin fighting back the inevitable tears. The Manager, a nice looking woman who could be Whoopi Goldberg's more conservative sister, approaches us. She asks how she can. We tell her.

She says she's very sorry but maybe a more "lenient" car rental company could accommodate us. She recommends one of the other major companies. We use our cell phone to call. NO. No dice. We go back to the counter and ask for the manager again. She's surprised that rental company wouldn't do it. She suggests another name brand rental car company. This time Lucy makes the call because I'm at my wits end and crying and I need to pee. They won't do it either. Now I really start to cry and get pissed. Lucy takes over from here because I'm losing it.

Lucy’s account of what happened next:

I go back and ask again for The Manager. I tell her we struck out again and she looks very surprised. She stands shaking her head I’m sure wondering how she’s going to get rid of us and I ask her directly: "This wouldn’t be an issue if we were married would it?" Sheepishly, she admitted that was the case. She said it's just an issue if we get in an argument and one of decides to leave the other then the one who has the car on their credit card could deny that they ever authorized using the car. She said, "It's like it has to be Geraldine and Harold Smith on the credit card. I'm real sorry---I even tried to get my sister (who I guess must be gay since she used her as a reference along with that familiar nod of "she's like you") a rent car and we couldn't do it here.

Back to Lanell:

Lucy comes back to me and I could tell by the look on her face it wasn’t good. She says we’ll figure something out. I say, “let’s just go home”. We look at each other like that’s not such a bad idea and then Lucy says, “no way”. She’s still thinking. We come up with taking a bus or a shuttle/bus/taxi combination. Lucy calls and finds that there is a way to do that---a really expensive way. Austin is looking better and better. We’re both cold so I start changing from my skirt into jeans—right in the middle of the place. Thankfully I had my bags with me. If they weren't sure I was pregnant before, it was obvious as I was slipping on my mama-jama maternity jeans and fumbling to get shoes and socks on while standing and hopping on one foot. Lucy kept singing that Garbage song with the line, "the trick is to keep breathing...." Bless her. Lucy put on one of my long sleeved shirts, we got all of the bags together and Lucy said she’s going to ask The Manager the closest place to catch a shuttle. I sit down and am still tearing up. I’m reeling with all of the implications. It doesn't matter that your license expired just 7 days before the rental (on your 32nd birthday). It doesn't matter that you've already renewed it online with the State of Texas, but you don't have the proper paperwork from the State to prove this because the State online renewal is a joke. It doesn't matter that you're bawling your eyes out and pleading the counter agent for mercy. It doesn't matter that you ask to speak to a manager--her hands are tied too. It doesn't matter that you're obviously pregnant and tired and uncomfortable. It doesn’t matter that you had a wedding and that in your minds you are married. I can't stop crying and feeling so helpless as I watch couple after heterosexual couple waltz in and out with car keys in hand---signed, sealed and validated.

The Manager understands now that we’re desperate and says she has the name of someone who might be able to help. She gives us a card and whispers to us, “tell him Debbie sent you.” Lucy calls the “pick-up” guy and he says he’ll meet us outside in a tan van. I’m worried about this but Lucy feels okay about it. The guy shows up, we get in and he takes us not more than a block to Sunrise Rental. We get a nice Toyota Corrolla, pay almost triple what it would have cost anywhere else. We’re validated with Lucy’s driver’s license and my credit card. I grew up when I learned that there are knock-off rental car agencies who don't have such strict policies. They rent to more "risky" folks. Being gay and having a 7 days invalid DL put us into that category.

Here's the deal: If Lucy and I had a marriage that was recognized by our government, then we'd have a valid, legal document that binds us together and would therefore be less of a risk to a rental car company.

Bottom line is this: The driver's license name and the name on the credit card must match. Even at any name brand rental car company including Avis, a major supporter and sponsor of many gay related events.

My friends, please get out and vote. If you're gay, get out! Stay out! Be out in *EVERYTHING* you do! It is so important that we have visibility in this world. By being visible, we are staking a claim at life! Vote in *EVERY* election, no matter how small it is. Because a$$holes start at the bottom and work their way to the top. For the love of chickadee, vote and get out of the closet! Be visible in everything you do!

We spent the whole next day just unraveling from the experience at LAX. Thankfully the beach at El Capitan was amazing - dolphins swimming 50 yards away from us, a seal, tons of prarie dogs eating the succulents like corn on the cob, amazing big birds that dive bomb the water for fish, the breeze, the sea air, the cold ocean waves crashing against my legs, the warm sun on my belly.....all amazing. I sprinkled the ocean on my belly and told chickadee, "this is the ocean - this is santa barbara - we're going to bring you back here someday." We hunted for treasures on the beach, mostly rocks and drift wood and the find of the century - a seal scapula! Which, in Native American spirituality, represents wealth and plenty, among other things.





After the beach, we went back to our cabin in the woods for more sunning in our "back yard" - I felt compelled to be naked and Lucy felt compelled to take pictures. Of course, those won't be posted here. But my belly and boobs got lots of sun and word to the wise, if those parts of your body have never seen the light of day, you might consider spending less time than I did sunning them. ;) Then when our bodies were sufficiently golden and our bellies full of delicious snacks, we tucked into our big, delicious bed for an afternoon nap. Wow! Just perfect. We ventured into Santa Barbara for some dinner - a lovely little dive mexican food place. As texans who cut our teeth on tex-mex, we were skeptical that SB could deliver on mexican food. But it was amazingly and surprisingly delicious. Fresh and tasty! I'll skip the details on our KMart experience to get Lucy some pants (remember, her bag didn't arrive until our last day). But, Lucy was able to find a pair of pants from KMart - miracle of miracles. And I was able to find some Vanilla Almond Fudge Ice Cream! Later that night we let our bodies collapse into a warm Jacuzzi tub. The bubbles, the warmth, the cool air coming in from the windows, the bugs chirping and frogs croaking. This was bliss.


Here are more pictures of our cabin in the woods:





And the bike that it looks like I rode - but I didn't. Only because it didn't have a basket.



And our beach finds ~

a rock that looks like an owl...


a rock that looks like a woman's body....


and so much more.

For the love of chickadee, don't forget to vote, IN EVERY ELECTION YOU CAN!